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I want to start with a biggie.
Menopause is not a taboo. Nothing shameful about it.
Let’s break the silence. End any stigma.
Be loud. And proud. On your menopause journey.
Proudly whip out a fetching fan when you get hot in public places.
Younger women really don’t understand what the menopause journey is. What the signs are. How it affects women. What we can do to help manage our symptoms and carry on with our valuable, productive, wild and precious lives.
YES society and media, women in their 40s, 50s and older ARE valuable. You are useful. Productive. Eminently employable. Experienced and mature. Still attractive. Not invisible.
You matter. More than that, you are freakin’ marvelous!
Menopause affects women, just like puberty or pregnancy does.
And it affects women in different ways. Women are all unique and special. And deserve to be treated that way.
It’s not a joke either. Any woman who has experienced hideous hot flashes, memory lapses, anxiety, hair loss and more will tell you that. It’s. Just. NOT. Funny.
No one laughs at a pregnant woman – why would anyone laugh at a menopausal one?
Society and the media accept – even embrace – pregnant women. Why not menopausal ones? We work with the fact a woman is pregnant and rightly so. We don’t (outwardly) discriminate. The same should be true in menopause.
Let’s join voices. We all need to help educate people about what the menopause journey is and what it means to women. Otherwise they may continue to snicker and/or misunderstand.
Ladies, let’s admit it’s not a medical condition.
It’s my opinion that we medicalize everything these days and we shouldn’t.
Menopause is a life stage. A transition. Part of the cycle of a women’s life. The menopause journey. Just like puberty. If you’re unlucky, it also includes the spots.
Both do strange things to your body, emotions and mind. But they’re not diseases or medical conditions. You are not ill.
And that’s a good thing. It’s normal. Totally natural.
You only need to visit your doctor if you want confirmation through tests that your symptoms are menopausal. Or if you have symptoms that persist, get much worse or worry you, go to the doctor. You’re not wasting their time.
Conventional medicine has developed medications to relieve menopause symptoms. It’s personal choice to go down that route.
I always urge women to get a checkup before they decide on any medication, procedure, or treatment.
Ask questions:
Then decide, what’s right for you.
And if it’s not a medical condition, should your employer allow “sick days” for it?
Mmm.
My view is that employers should enable their menopausal workers to function well in the workplace…just like everyone else. That might mean flexible working, the option to do some work from home, providing information, access to coaching or occupational health ….whatever is suitable for that employment.
That relies on us explaining your situation to your employer (see #4) and employers being equipped to handle it well and with empathy.
No need to retire early … unless you really want to and can, of course.
I’m also a firm believer in self-care. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary for you and all the people that rely on you to help and support them. You can’t give from an empty cup, Woman.
So take care of yourselves on the menopause journey. Take responsibility for your own health and wellness – physical, emotional and mental – as far as you can.
There are lots of changes you can make to diet and lifestyle that make a big difference to symptoms. You really can make a difference to your hot flashes, muffin top, hair thinning, vaginal (and overall) dryness, mood swings, low sex drive, memory issues…
Complementary therapies and treatments can really help. Diet, lifestyle changes, and natural therapies can also really help.
There are millions of menopausal women! Everywhere…
Find your community of Menopause Mavens. Gather with your friends and talk about it – share! Join online forums and follow pages to get support, encouragement, and good quality information.
Talk to your partner. Your family. In a constructive way. Don’t blame them for your crazy moods or getting (literally) hot under the collar. Help them understand what help and support you need from then as you navigate the menopause journey. Explain the changes you’re going through and how it affects you.
They are not mind-readers. Or well-versed in the ways of the menopausal madam.
Tell your employer. It shouldn’t be embarrassing for either of you. You’re just going through a life stage. They should be equipped to deal with the whole gamut of stuff their employees might face OR have access to experts who do and can advise them.
Make sure your close colleagues know. When they know, they can empathize and support. If they don’t know, they can’t. If they know and still laugh and roll their eyes, they’re idiots. Fact.
Yup. There is always a brightside.
Menopause is often talked about in terms of loss or lack. Lack of periods. Mourning of childbearing years. Lost youth. Even lamenting an empty nest.
It is possible to change the we way you look at things and feel better about menopause.
It’s not just about loss really, it’s about gain.
New beginnings. Freedoms. Opportunities. And having the maturity and experience to make the most of them. Maybe you didn’t have that when you were younger.
In many cultures, menopause is celebrated as a rites of passage. It’s when women become respected and trusted wise women. Mature women are revered.
And heck, 50 is the new 30. Well, it is if you make it so.
Plus there’s always laughter. Wiggle your finger at anyone who laughs at someone else’s hot flash. Doesn’t mean you can’t laugh at our own, eh? If you choose.
That should help you get through the menopause journey laughing. Just be careful you don’t laugh so hard a little pee comes out. *winks*